Brinke Stevens

Laura Reynolds

Tom Savini

Jesus Christ

Robert Z'Dar

Det. Bobby Romero

Felissa Rose

Melissa

Joe Estevez

Brooks

Conrad Brooks

Dean Martinson

Edwin Neal

God

Uwe Boll

Himself

J.R. Bookwalter

Crazed Professor

Jeff Burr

Phil (voice)

Joe Fleishaker

Caller #1 (voice)

Jeff Dylan Graham

Harper

Trent Haaga

Ted Kopafeel

Ron Jeremy

Todd

Lloyd Kaufman

Bill the Janitor

Chris Watson